Wasting Away
by Genesis Shade
Summary: Lily Evans has a secret. Will she be able to swallow her pride and enable people to help her? L/J. chapter 9! Memories, Remembrance, Rescue, and Romance! James and Lily at the end!!!
1. The Change of a Lifetime

A/N: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. Okies? They all belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling whom we are all irritated at for the delayment of the fifth book. Hope this will help calm your nerves if your angry bout that. I know I am. On with the fic!  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter1. The Change of a Lifetime  
  
Lily Evans looked at the crowds spilling out of the Hogwarts Express. She sighed. 'Another year of being iqnored.' She trudged to the horseless carraiges and climbed into an empty one. As usual, everyone else seemed to overlook this carraige, and as usual, she was alone. She slouched back into her seat, and pulled out a shiny silver badge that stated Head Girl. She bit her lip, fighting an internal battle, then pinned the shiny badge on her robes. She looked out the window as the carraige tumbled along the road that led to Hogwarts.  
  
Lily got out of the carraige as it came to a complete stop in front of the Hogwarts. She took in every inch of the immaculate castle, the turrets and towers. There was only one place to her that felt like home, and this was it. Noting that this was her last time entering the castle as a student, she followed the crowd into the Great Hall. She took a seat at the far end of the Gryffindor table and looked up at the enchanted ceiling that depicted the very image of the sky outside. It was one of her favorite things about Hogwarts. She was so obsorbed in looking at the ceiling, she didn't notice someone sitting beside her until they cleared their throat. Lily turned towards the person and was shocked to see that it was Remus Lupin, one of the four most popular boys in school. He smiled at her.  
  
"Hi! I'm Remus." he held out his hand for her to shake. After getting over her shock, Lily smiled timidly back at him, and shook his hand.  
  
"Lily Evans" Lily supplied.  
  
"The ceiling is one of my favorite parts of Hogwarts. It's beautiful, don't you think?" Remus asked of her.  
  
"Yeah, you could look into it for hours and think it had only been minutes. Why aren't you sitting with your friends?" Lily slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry! That was terribly blunt wasn't it?" Remus chuckled.  
  
"That's alright. Their in Professor McGonagall's office."  
  
"Already? What'd they do?"  
  
"They levitated Snape up to the ceiling on the Entrance Hall. Snape passed out. He's afraid of heights. When they let him fall they conjured a little pool of slime. Thankfully McGonagall didn't spot me. She wou;d've me detention even if I didn't have anything to do with it." Remus smiled. He was a marauder along with James Potter and Sirius Black. Their tag-a-long was a chubby boy named Peter Pettigrew. Remus had brownish-blonde hair that came down to his ears. He was the most sensual of the marauders, but could still be a hell child when he wanted to be. It was then that he spotted her Head Girl badge. "Congratulations on being Head Girl! That's something to be proud of!" Lily blushed.  
  
"Thanks. I hope the Head Boy isn't a Slytherin. I don't get along with them very well."  
  
"None of us do." he sighed. Just them three boys came and gathered around Remus and Lily.  
  
"Moony! Found a new friend?! I'm hurt!" Sirius Black put his hand to his forehead in a melodramatic way and fell into the arms of James Potter. Remus laughed.  
  
"It's not like I get to see you much anyways Padfoot. With you lot always getting detention." Sirius jumped out of James' arms and grinned.  
  
"Hello. And who may I ask is this lovely lady?" Sirius bowed and took her hand. Lily blushed.  
  
"Lily Evans."  
  
"It is so rare to meet such a beautiful flower." he kissed her hand. Remus reached over and pulled Sirius' hand off of hers. Lily sent him a grateful smile.  
  
"Come now Sirius, can't you see your scaring the poor girl?" James Potter said. He shook Lily's hand. "James Potter, at you service." Lily smiled at him. He was normal. At least for right now. They all took seats around Remus and Lily. Sirius next to Lily, the boy Peter next to Remus, and James across from them both. After the sorting the tables filled with food. Lily watched with awe as the boys piled mountains of food on their plates. They then proceeded to shovel it all into their mouths. James looked up.  
  
"Aren't you gunna eat?" Lily blushed and nodded and put some shepards pie, corn, and a roll on her plate and started eating. She felt the hairs on her neck stand up and looked around. Her eyes fell to the Slytherin table where Lucius Malfoy was watching her with a stony expression on his face. When he saw that she was looking at him, a cruel smile graced his pale face. He slowly drew a line across his throat. Lily shivered and looked away. She dropped her fork onto her plate and hugged herself, rocking back and forth slightly. Remus noticed the movement and looked down at her.  
  
"Lily?" he asked, concern evident on his face. "Are you alright?" Lily nodded and continued to hug herself. By now she had captured the attention of all the marauders. She felt the hairs on her neck stand again and looked upon the slytherin table again. She watched as if in a trance as Malfoy mouthed the words. 'Soon, flower, soon.' Lily shivered and pulled her robes tighter around her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his pale face.  
  
Remus looked to see where Lily was staring, and was shocked to see Lucius Malfoy mouthing something to her. All he could understand was the word 'Soon'. he looked back to Lily and saw all the color leave her face.  
  
"Lily? Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" Lily looked incredibly sick. She shook her head wildly.  
  
"No! I'm fine! Really. Just tired is all. I need to go." with that she got up and left the Great Hall.  
  
"What was that all about?" asked Sirius, completely bewildered. "She was fine a minute ago!"  
  
"Malfoy" Remus stated plainly.  
  
"What?!" James asked.  
  
"Malfoy mouthed something to her. The only part of that I caught was 'soon' but Lily freaked. I wonder what he said to her." he looked pensive.  
  
"She shouldn't be associating with Slytherins." Sirius said with a low growl. Remus shook his head.  
  
"Before you guys got here she was saying that she didn't want to work with any Slytherins because she didn't get along with them."  
  
"Work with them?" James asked.  
  
"She's Head Girl." James looked shocked and pulled out a shiny silver badge that read 'Head Boy'. No on at the table looked shocked.  
  
"Head Boy, Jamie? No surprise there."  
  
"I told you not to call me that!" James hissed, his face turning red.  
  
"I know. And I chose to iqnore you." They decided to try to talk to Lily later in the common room. After dinner they led the rest of the Gryffindors up to the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Ignoti" James said loudly, letting the rest of the Gryffindors hear the password. They stepped into the common room and looked around for a sign of Lily. They spotted her sitting alone in the drakest corner of the common room. They walked towards her.  
  
"Lily? You okay? You gave us a fright at the feast." James said. Lily looked up at them and smiled. She looked completely normal now.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think that the food got to me." They looked at her, unbelieving. They knew that she didn't eat anything at the feast.  
  
"Why was Malfoy staring at you?" Remus asked Lily softly.  
  
"Was he? I didn't notice."  
  
"Okay. Well, goodnight Lily." they all exited and Lily breathed a sigh of relief. 'That was close'. Lily thought to herself. She looked around at the clock, and, noticing the time, headed up for bed, knowing that her secret would only be safe for so long.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: I know that the first chapter isn't very long. But the second one will be much longer! Promise! I hope that some people will review this. I'm not saying that you have to! I just think that its a nice moral booster. Well! Hope you enjoyed it! The second chapter will be better! ~Genesis~ 


	2. The Horrors of One Day

A/N: Oh my gosh! I love you all! I only got good reviews! Thank you guys so much! *wipes tears from eyes* Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that J.K. Rowling does. Thanks for reviewing everyone! Here is chapter 2! I hope you all like it! Thanks for the encouragement! ~Genesis~  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter 2: The Horrors of one Day  
  
Lily woke up the next morning feeling very refreshed and dressed quickly and made her way down to the Great Hall. She once again sat at the very end of the Gryffindor table. She grabbed a couple peices of buttered toast and grabbed her schedule from Professor McGonagall, and ran out onto the school grounds for a walk around the Lake before classes.  
  
Lily looked over her schedule as she walked around the peaceful lake. She wrinkled her nose when she saw that they had Double Potions with the Slytherins first thing. Sighing, she threw the rest of her crust into the lake and watched the Giant Squids' tentacle rise up from its dark depths and grab the small peice of food.  
  
"Hello, Flower."  
  
Lily whipped around and her eyes grew to the size of saucers when she saw who it was.  
  
"Malfoy." she spat hatefully.  
  
"You shouldn't talk that way to your betters flower. It will take you places that I'm sure you won't like. But, then again, you've already been there." he smiled cruelly as Lily got a look of horror on her face. He walked closer and put a hand on her cheek. "I've missed you Flower." Lily, realising what these words were going to lead to, jerked away. She would have been successful if he hadn't have hooked his other hand behind her neck. She looked up at him with tearful eyes.  
  
"Please." she whispered a desperate plea. He slapped her face. Lily winced.  
  
"Have you missed me Flower?" No answer. "Tell me!" he shouted, his eyes shooting fire.  
  
"No." Lily squeked. She could hardly believe her own daring. With the hand holding her neck, he reached up and pulled her hair. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear.  
  
"Have you missed me?" he hissed, pulling her hair, daring her to say no. Lily let a few tears run down her cheeks.  
  
"Yes" He didn't release her but once again whispered in her ear.  
  
"I've found your parents. I think you'll like the results." Lily's eyes widened. He had found her parents? Her REAL parents. How? She had been looking ever since she had been old enough to understand that she was adopted.  
  
"Who?" she whispered.  
  
"Do you really want to know?" Lily nodded her head. "Their wizards Lily, rich and powerful. Well, your father is. Your mother is dead." Lily's head drooped and she began to silently cry. Lucius smiled. "I don't think that your father will like your display of weakness, Flower. He gave me permission to court you." Lily's head snapped up. She jerked herself out of his grasp, wincing as she felt some of the hair on her scalp pull out.  
  
"I will never let you touch me!" she yelled at him. He smiled at her, and walked up and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her towards him.  
  
"But you already have, Flower."  
  
"I NEVER let you touch me willingly! If I wasn't so ashamed I would actually tell someone and have you thrown in Azkaban! You heartless bastard!" She rammed him in the spot where all little boys are most sensitive and ran back up to the castle.  
  
Lily stopped and caught her breath. Never had she run that hard. She looked up and noticed where she was. The charms corridor. She sighed and hurried to Gryffindor Tower and collected her things for potions and walked towards the dungeons. She opened up the door and made her way to the back of the classroom so she could sit alone. Slowly, the other students trickled in. She heard a loud commotion from behind her.  
  
"What did you say to her?!" she heard an angry voice ask.  
  
"Nothing that concerns you, Lupin." she heard Lucius' cold reply. She looked behind her to see Lupin entering the room, followed by the rest of the marauders and Lucius. Upon seeing Lily, Remus' eyes widened. He looked at Lucius who was making his way towards her and walked quickly, tripping Lucius and sat down next to her.  
  
"Are you okay Lily? You don't look too good." Lily was silently thankful for the dim lights in the dungeons. Remus hadn't seen her face.  
  
"I'm still feeling a bit sick" she admitted. She watched as the other marauders sat down at their table. Her eyes moved past them and saw Lucius shooting angry glares in their direction as he sat down next to his friend, Severus Snape.  
  
"Do you think you should go to the Hospital Wing?" asked James, noticing how pale she looked.  
  
"No." she snapped, and the subject was dropped. She silently listened as Professor Adams told them the directions for making a reviving potion. She didn't bother writing notes. When you did you could never keep up with the teacher. Soon they all started their potions. Lily and Remus worked together, while James, Sirius, and Peter worked on theirs. Lily silently cut up the ingredients and put them in the cauldron, stirring it for three minutes, then let it simmer.  
  
Lily silently watched the rest of the class continue to finish theirs. She noticed the only other ones done were Severus and Lucius. This didn't surpride her. He was one of the best potions students at Hogwarts. Soon the whole class was done and Professor Adams walked around the room and inspected all their potions. She declared that the only ones who got it right were, herself and Remus, and Severus and Lucius. They silently began to clear up their work areas and waited for the class to end.  
  
"How did you do it?" Lily looked up at the question. James, Sirius, and Remus all looked at her expectantly.  
  
"Do what?" she asked confused.  
  
"Make the potion. Remus barely helped. We all wrote the recipe down and we still got it wrong. But you, you were barely listening and you were the only one besides Snape who got it right. How'd you do it?" James asked her. Lily looked from one to the other. She felt a slight breeze on her arm.  
  
"It must be hereditary." a new voice said. She looked up and saw Lucius standing above her. Her eyes immediately began to fill with tears, and she looked away.  
  
"What do you want Malfoy?" Sirius snapped. Lucius smiled.  
  
"Just wanted to answer your questions, Black. You shouldn't be ashamed to tell them, Flower." he purred, beginning to massage her shoulders. She shrugged off his hands.  
  
"How could I think of telling them when I don't even know?" Lily hissed angrily at him.  
  
"I'll tell you when your ready to accept me, Flower. Until then. "he turned to walk away, but changed his mind. "Keep away from the sun around people or you'll be sorry." Lily weakly put her hand on her still stinging cheek. He walked back over to Snape.  
  
"What the hell was that?!" Sirius nearly roared. "What did he mean?" his eyes were blazing. If he hadn't of been so shocked by the conversation between the two he would have pounded Malfoy for wanting to associate with a Gryffindor.  
  
"Nothing. I don't know what he was talking about." Lily whispered. She dropped her hand from her cheek and looked at them.  
  
"Lily, what's going on between you and Malfoy?" Remus asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Lily shrugged.  
  
"Nothing. I think he wants there to be something. But there NEVER will be." she said with conviction.  
  
"What don't you know?" James asked. His face was completlely void of any emotion.  
  
"Don't know what?" Lily asked, but she knew perfectly well what he was asking.  
  
"When Malfoy said it was hereditary and souldn't be ashamed to tell us, and you told him you didn't know. What don't you know?"  
  
"It's nothing." she shrunk under the glares they were giving her.  
  
"Is it something about your parents?" Remus asked. Lily's eyes widened. "What about them?" Lily knew she had been caught.  
  
"I don't know who my real parents are, and Malfoy seems to think he does. It's nothing." they all looked angry. That was downright insensitive, but then again, this was Malfoy they were talking about. The bell rang and Lily walked quickly towards the door. Lucius was next to her. He opened up her hand and placed a small black ball in it. A scene flashed before her eyes. A man wearing black robes was looking straight at her. He had black hair and green eyes, just like her own. He smiled cruelly at her.  
  
"Hello Isabella. You'll be coming home soon." and the scene abruptly ended. She noticed that Malfoy and her were the only ones left and that they were still standing in the doorway, and he had his hand around her waist, supporting her. She looked up into his eyes and saw them flash green. She gasped and ran out the door, wishing that the horrors of this day would end soon.  
  
A/N: Well, that's chapter 2. I hope you all like it. I personally think that it's better than chapter one. Tell me what you all think! ~Genesis~ 


	3. Past and Present

A/N: Oh my gosh! Thank you all so much! I'm so happy that people like and review this! I appreciate it so much! Thank you! I'm so glad that you all liked chapter 2. I think that this is even better than that! I hope you all will think so too! I'm trying to make this as good as I can!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters that you recognize. That about sums it up.  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter 3: Past and Present  
  
Lily spent the rest of that week avoiding either, Lucius or the Marauders. No matter where she went one or the other seemed to pop up or be following her. That Friday, after a long Transfiguration lesson, Lily went up to the 7th year Girls' dorms and dumped her books off and cast the invisibility spell on herself and walked down to the common room. She waited until two first years opened up the portrait and walked out herself. This had been her routine for the past two days since she had mastered the complex charm. It was the only way that she shake off Lucius.  
  
Lily walked silently down the 6th floor corridor, past the arithmancy classroom and up the small flight of stairs to her favorite room at Hogwarts. It was small, with deep blue armchairs next to an empty fireplace. The part that she liked best about it was the intricate window designs that made up the floor to ceiling windows. It was all stained glass, except for one small section, right in the middle. She had never seen anything more beautiful. She lighted a fire in the empty grate and sat down, and undid the charm.  
  
Being alone gave her a lot of time to think things over. Like the little black ball that Lucius had given her. Was that room real? Was the man? Who was he? She thought of these questions and came up with so many different scenarios that her head began to hurt. 'Rationalize' she told herself.  
  
First, the man called her Isabella. That wasn't her name. So why would he call her that? Second, who was he? He looked like someone she knew but couldn't place. Maybe one of her schoolmates relatives? 'That's stupid' she thought to herself, 'why would that scene be shown to her? Most likely one of Malfoy's relatives, that cruel smile was the same' And last but not least, the little black ball. How did Lucius get it? How did he know him? Lily sighed and looked at the clock. 'Time for dinner'. She extinguished the flames in the fireplace and made her way out of the room. She silently made her way down to the Great Hall, carefully watching everything to make sure that none of her stalkers were around. 'Never thought that I would say that to myself ' Lily thought wryly. She sat down at the last seat at the Gryffindor table next to a small group of third years.  
  
"Hogsmeade this weekend!" a little boy with brown hair squeked. "Are you going to go Tony?" Tony, looked up and nodded. They then began to discuss what their first trip to the village would be like. Outside, Lily looked calm and collected, but inside, she was screaming with joy. Finally she didn't have to go around that castle invisible! All the seventh years would be enjoying on of their last Hogsmeade weekends. She couldn't have been happier. She skipped up to her dorm. And owl lay sitting on her bed. She relieved it of its burden and opened it up.  
  
Hello Flower,   
  
I seem to believe that you have been avoiding me. Do you wish to impose upon your father's wishes? I don't think you should like to get him angry. It was really brilliant of you to learn the invisibility charm. Did you think that I didn't know Flower? I know everything about you. Back to business. Your father wishes for me to accompany you to the village this weekend. I will be waiting for your reply.  
  
With love, Lucius Malfoy  
  
Lily choked with laughter. 'With love? He wouldn't know what love was if it danced naked in fromt of him'. She walked down to the common room, iqnoring everyone inside. She silently walked up to the fire, not noticing that Sirius and Remus were sitting to the side of it playing a game of chess. She threw it into the flames and watched the parchment burn red then crumble as it turned to ashes. She walked back up to her dorm and lay down, not even noting the curious glances the marauders sent after her.  
  
Lily woke up the next morning in brighter spirits. She would have the run of the castle today. She looked around the room to find that everyone was already gone. She enjoyed a nice long hot shower, working out the tension in her shoulders that had progressed during the past week. She put on a pair of faded muggle jeans, a long sleeved navy blue shirt and tennis shoes. She left Gryffindor tower towards the library. She was enjoying watching her feet as she walked down the Transfiguration corridor, she usually went invisible wherever she went the past few days. It was nice to see a part of her, even if it was rather dull. She didn't hear the sound of anyone approaching until they grabbed her arm.  
  
"Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" Lily screamed as she tried to tear her arm out of her attackers grasp. They loosened it but still held on.  
  
"I've been looking everywhere for you, Flower. You never returned my invitation. But that can be forgiven. I have rescheduled our plans. Your father and I have something else in mind for today." Lucius told her as he began dragging her down to the dungeons. Lily pushed her heels into the floor, preventing him from dragging her any further.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere near the Slytherin common room with you!" Lily yelled at him. He smiled at her.  
  
"I have no unhonorable thoughts towards you, Flower. But, I do believe myself that you will most intrested in this. Your father has set up a present for you. As I told you before, he will be ill at ease if you disobey his wishes. We don't want to dissapoint him." He then began dragging her towards the stairs that led down towards the darkness of the dungeons. Lily gave up. There was nothing she could do to pull her arm from his vice-like grip. They passed the entrance to the Slytherin common room and walked a little farther on.  
  
Lily had never been to this part of the dingeons before. It didn't look like many others had either. The moss grew more heavily on the walls, and the corridor floor was thick with dust. Lily was surprised that the House elves had missed a part of the castle. Malfoy opened up a door and pushed Lily in. Lily tried to gain her footing before she fell flat on her face. She raised herself up and looked at the room they had entered.  
  
There was no other word for it. It was magestic. The most impressive room in Hogwarts. On the walls hung silver and navy tapestries, each depicting a different time in history. She was sure that the room would be covered in cobwebs. She never expected such glamour. She was sure that her mouth was open as she looked at the room with awe. The only thing that was missing, she noticed, was windows, which every room in the dungeon lacked. Otherwise, it was perfect. She nearly forget about the situation with Lucius. But all came back to her when he placed an arm around her shoulders. She stepped away from him and removed his arm.  
  
"These are rooms that you will come to know well, Flower. Your father arranged them. He wanted you to be comftorable. Now back to business." his tone went from a drawl, to serious. Lily swallowed and took a few more steps backwards. He didn't make any move to stop her. "There are two doors in this room, Flower." Lily looked around once again, and wondered how she could have missed them. One was blood red, and the other onyx. "Each door is a choice. The red door will give you the answers to your past. The black door will reveal the present and the future for you and whomever takes the lifelong journey with you." he paused to let the information sink in.  
  
"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Lily asked. If it was real...  
  
"This is no joke, Flower. It is time you were given answers." Lily had already made her choice of which door she would choose. The present and future for her held no invitation. She knew her future was bleak. As soon as she left Hogwarts she was going to go far away, and never some back. The red door. Red, the color of the gods. Bloodshed is what it promised. She knew this, but it drew her towards it. She hardly knew what she was doing before she was standing in front of it. Answers. She was going to get answers. She put her hand on the dark red handle and hesitated. The truth. She would see her parents. Did she really want to do this? She lifted her head in ditermination. She turned the handle and pushed the door open. It swung back silently. There was no light in the room beyond. She stepped inside, trying to see farther in. The door swung closed behind her, leaving the room in complete darkness.  
  
Lily walked farther in, trying to calm her nerves. After her seventh step, when she felt she was about to suffocate from the inky darkness pressing in from all sides, a light lit within the center of the room, lighting up a small black pedastol. She was about ten feet away from it. She walked closer and saw a small deep red bowl with black engravings along the sides. They looked like the runes she saw in her class with Professor Rishae, but she didn't recognize any of them. She wsitched her eyes to the bowls contents and was surprised to see a swirling silver substance. She had never seen a potion this beautiful. But then again, she didn't even know that it even was a potion. She felt her fingers moving of their own accord towards the contents. Her brain was screaming to not touch it, but her body moved of its own accord. Her fingers dipped into the shimmery silver depths, and she fell forward.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
James Potter watched as his friends headed towards Hogsmeade Village. They all looked extremely surprised to find out that he wasn't going. He had finally convinced them that he was in the middle of planning a prank and needed to do some research. After the last of the stundents had left, James made his way towards the library. She would most likely be there. This past week his thoughts fell on one person. Lily Evans. He didn't know what it was about her. Was it the thought of her with a Slytherin? Or was it just that he wanted to protect and sheild her from their evil? He couldn't decide which. He had been trying to follow her with his invisibility cloak, but when he turned a corner to continue to walk behind her, she had disappeared. It was only after two days that he figured that she had cast an invisibility charm on herself. She was beautiful and had brains. He sighed. He had barely even talked to her, but he was infatuated.  
  
He sat down at a table and waited. After waiting for an hour, he got up and pulled his treasured cloak out of his pocket and threw it over himself and went to find Lily. He knew that she had stayed. He wondered where she was. Then he slapped himself on the forehead. The map! He silently cursed himself for his idiocy and ran up to Gryffindor Tower and grabbed it.  
  
"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." he whispered. Lines began tracing themselves over the parchment. He searched it with his eyes before he found the dot he wanted. Lily's dot was in the dungeons. In the dungeons?! His eyes got real wide when he saw the dot flickering. He had no idea what it meant, but by no means could it be good. He dropped his cloak and ran out the door, praying that he would get there in time. But the problem was, what was he going to be in time for?  
  
A/N: That's chapter three. Thank you everyone for reviewing! I really, really appreciate it! I think I've said that a few times already. Chapter 4 will be coming up soon. Nightmares and Dreams. Thank you all again. Review if you like! ~Genesis~ 


	4. Dream or Reality

A/N. Okay. I first want to say sorry to eveyone who has been waiting on this next chapter. I'm going away this coming up week and I wanted to go ahead and type up several more chapters so I don't get behind. Also so you guys don't have to do without. Thank you all for reviewing my last chapter and I hope you like this one!  
  
Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize isn't mine. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. Don't you just wish that you were her? ^_^  
  
  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter 4  
  
~Dream or Reality~  
  
  
  
Lily was falling..there was nothing but blackness. It grabbed at her, smoothering her with its vicious holds. Just when she was about to give up, her back hit something hard and light exploded within her senses. Getting up she notices she's in a....bathroom?  
  
It was all white. White walls, tub, sink, faucets. It was like being in a hospital. Which she may have been. Just then the door burst open and a man dressed in black from head to toe entered the room dragging a woman by the hair. He slamed the door and threw her at the sink, causing her mouth to hit it head on, and fell to the ground. After a moment she picked herself up. Lily gasped as she saw the state she was in. The girl was young. Maybe twenty or twenty-one. She had blonde hair that was caked with blood and blue eyes. She spit out something and Lily saw that it was one of her teeth. She had tears in her eyes.  
  
"Get up you worthless Mudblood!" screamed the Deatheater. The girl pushed herself up all the way and leaned against the now bloody sink. The man pulled out a wand and screamed "Crucio!". The girl collapsed as white hot pain engulfed her entire being. Lily watched horrified as the girl twitched and writhed all over the bathroom floor, screaming as if possessed. Lily fought the urge to be sick. Just when she thought she could take no more, she was jerked abruptly backwards.  
  
Lily fell on her side and found she was in a completely different place. Once she looked around she groaned. 'Not another bathroom.' But she quieted when she heard a high pitched scream. Then there was silence. A silence that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, waiting for the pin to drop. She heard something. She had never heard it before. She heard a voice.  
  
"Rip….tear….kill…..I smell blood!!!" It started out as a soft hissing then grew into an unbearable scream. Lily looked up and glimpsed a face with black hair and teal eyes. She looked down at her feet and saw something green. Scales. She slowly looked up, but before she could look the creature in the face, she was jerked backwards.  
  
Lily was jerked from place to place, the screaming ever present. It was continuous torture. She didn't know how much she could take. She tried to keep her eyes closed, but there was something holding her back. She regretted ever choosing her past. This wasn't her. She didn't know who this was. She felt something wet on her cheeks and reached her hand up and felt tears. She didn't even realize that she was crying. She was in a prison of eternal suffering, no matter what she did she couldn't block out the agonizing screams of torture. Then abruptly, the screaming stopped. Lily could hear a faint beeping but that was it. No screaming. Nothing. She was surprised to find herself in a sterilized hospital room.  
  
A woman with red hair was lying in a bed, drenched in sweat. A nurse stood next to her, holding a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket that clashed with the peach fuzz that was already appearing. Slowly the baby opens its eyes and Lily saw that they were a bright emerald green. 'Oh my god.' Thought Lily, 'That's me'. Lily didn't know what to think. The nurse tried to hand Lily to her mother but the woman pushes her back into the nurses arms.  
  
"I don't want her. I won't live under the same roof with the baby of that man. He has no soul. He doesn't care. He'll come for her. Take her to his master. I spit on all three. I don't want to see her!" the nurse backed away from the bed and took the baby out of the room. Lily cried silently as the woman who gave birth to her fell asleep. The words she used kept being repeated in her mind. She was the child of a monster. She was a monster. That was all that she could think. She was snapped back to reality when a man appeared. He was tall and dressed completely in black. He looked at the woman thoughtfully. He walked over to her bed.  
  
"Oh, Celeste. You could have been great. All you had to do was say that you would follow him. Our daughter will be great. I am angered that you don't want her. The you call me and my master monsters. You will pay for that. Imperio." Celeste's eyes snapped open and her eyes glazed over. He then whispered a spell and he disappeared. Lily watched as her mother pushed the button to call for the nurse. The nurse came in but without the baby.  
  
"I want my child. I wan't to name her and take her home." Celeste said, her voice monotone. The nurse's eyes hardened.  
  
"Your baby has already been adopted. This family has been waiting to adopt a daughter. And you have no right to want to name your child." The nurse told her coldly. She then turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. Lily watched as her father reappeared and pointed his wand at Celeste and whispered "Avada Kedavra" and saw her mother's eyes lose the life. Her breathing stilled, and the woman known as Celeste was no more.  
  
"I will find you Isabella. In time. Daddy will bring you home." And he disappeared.  
  
Lily was thrown backwards for the last time and she landed hard on the floor and recognized the dark room that started all this. She notices blood on the floor and wondered whose it was. It couldn't possibly be hers could it? Lily whispered to herself.  
  
"Is this a dream or reality?" and she let the awaiting blackness claim her.  
  
~*~*~  
  
James flew down corridors, pushing down anyone that may have been in his way. His thoughts were focused on Lily. The marauders map never lied, and that was what scared him the most. When he looked at the map he found her dot in the dungeons and it was flickering. That could only mean one thing. Lily was dying. He had to make it there in time. He was in the dungeons now. There was the door! He opened it up and ran across the room to the adjoining door and flung it open. What he saw made his stomach heave.  
  
A/N: Well, there's chapter 4! I hope you all like it! If this wasn't my story I would hate me. I hate cliffhangers, but I like doing them in my own fics. I hope you all enjoyed it! Review! ~Genesis~ 


	5. Thank You, James

A/N: This is chapter five. I'm sorry it took me a little while to get it up. My computer stopped working and I didn't have another at my disposal, so, well, yeah. Enough with my complaining. I'm sorry also that the last chapter was so short. Please forgive me. I hope that this chapter is to your satisfaction. I sound mighty business like don't I? *giggles* I hope you all like this chapter. I think its okay. A little bit dull, but just wait until chapter 6. You'll hate me then. I can promise you that! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I appreciate it! ~Geneses~  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Thank You James  
  
  
  
James ran to the unconscious Lily and looked desperately for any sign of life. He was horrified at what he saw. Lily had blood on the bad of her head, barely indistinguishable from her mass of red hair. Slow little dribbles of blood were running out of the corners of her mouth. But what scared him most were her eyes. They were halfway open, but were seeing nothing. He was relieved to see that her chest was rising and falling, even if it was erratically.  
  
He quickly took her into his arms and began to move as quickly as he could towards the hospital wing. He passed no one on the long trek there and pushed the door open with his foot and nearly screamed for Madam Pomfrey. The young matron walked out of her office, annoyed at being interrupted once again by James Potter.  
  
"What have you done this-" her words were cut off as soon as she saw Lily's battered body. "Good Jesus what happened to this poor girl? Here, lay her on this bed here." James gently laid Lily down on a bed near the door. Madam Pomfrey quickly set to doing her magic and cleaned Lily up as best she could. James sat and watched helplessly as Madam Pomfrey uncovered more and more injuries. James was furious that someone would dare do that to his Lily. Pain tore at his gut as several of the wounds couldn't be healed by magic.  
  
Madam Pomfrey finished healing Lily to the best of her knowledge and left to inform Professor Dumbledore and inquire of him to question the two children of what happened. Soon after Madam Pomfrey left, James moved over to Lily's side and took hold of her hand.  
  
"I'm so sorry that I couldn't get there sooner. This never would have happened if I would have taken the map. I would have known where you were and who did this to you. Please Lily, wake up." James felt horrible. If only he hadn't forgotten the map. If only he had gotten there sooner. All the ifs. There were just to many. He had just sat back in his chair when Lily shot straight up in her bed. She immediately turned green and leaned over the side of the bed with a trash can next to it and began throwing up. James was at her side in an instant, holding her hair back as she lost everything that she had eaten within the past twenty four hours.  
  
Once finished, James conjured up a washcloth and helped her wipe her mouth off. He helped her lie back in bed. Lily curled up into a fetal position and began mumbling something that sounded like "monster" over and over again. James is distraught at seeing her this way.  
  
"What's wrong Lily? Who did this to you?" James queried softly but firmly. Lily began to cry. James sat next to her on her bed and Lily burrowed herself into him. He rocked her back and forth, smoothing her hair and rubbing her back, whispering comforts to her. Lily's sobs began to lessen and James pulled back a bit to let her lay down. He made to get up off her bed, but she grabbed a hold of his hand.  
  
"Please stay. I-" her voice broke and she began to sniffle quietly. "I don't think I can be alone."  
  
James sat beside her on her bed and smoothed the hair from her forehead. Lily was still sniffling and every so often a tear would find its way down her pale cheek, but James would always wipe it away. Lily drifted off to sleep.  
  
James watched her for however know how long. He was taken in by her beauty. Her hair was in a state, her skin was five times paler than it was normally. To him she had never looked more beautiful. He didn't know when his feelings for Lily began . He didn't know exactly what to call it. Like? He knew he definitely liked her, but love? Did he? He wasn't really sure upon that aspect. He knew that he would do anything to protect her.  
  
At first he was just curious of her, this girl that had been in the same year and house as him and he had never known. But the more he watched her the more infatuated he had become. He had never felt like this about anyone before. Just as he was about to get another headache that was his prize for analyzing his thoughts, Professor Dumbledore walked into the room followed by Madam Pomfrey.  
  
"Has she woken up?" the matron asked of him.  
  
"Yeah. She got sick too. And rocked back and forth saying monster over and over again. Will she be okay?" James' eyes showed genuine concern. Dumbledore smiled.  
  
"I'm sure that Miss. Evans will be well in time. Now James, I would like to ask you a few questions before Ms. Evans wakes up. Is that in your favor?" James nodded his assent. "Good, good. What made you stay from Hogsmeade today?" James blushed.  
  
"I was following Lily." Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
"That's quite alright James. " his face turned serious quickly. "Did you see who took her down to the dungeons?"  
  
"No. I didn't. I was up in the common room the whole morning." Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"How did you know where Lily was, and that she was in trouble?" he looked curious. James looked very reluctant to answer. What was he supposed to say. 'Oh, yeah Professor, my friends and I just copied the school blue prints and managed to make the greatest pranking aid ever invented that's breaking several laws in the meantime?' I don't think so. James was saved from answering as Lily began to wake up again. James and Dumbledore both stood up.  
  
"Ms. Evans, how do you feel?" Lily turned a faint color of green but managed to hold back the wave of nausea that washed over her.  
  
"Like I've been run over by a car." James looked confused. 'What was a car?' Dumbledore seemed to get it and laughed.  
  
"In that case I shall have to go and get Poppy." He swept off to get the matron. Lily laid backed and closed her eyes as James hovered beside her bed. Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore came back in. She gave Lily a dose of morphine and Lily sighed, relaxed.  
  
"Mr. Potter, I am afraid that I must ask to speak to Ms. Evans alone. You may go and join your friends at Hogsmeade if you wish." James reluctantly agreed and left the Hospital wing. Dumbledore sat in the chair in which James had previously been sitting.  
  
"Ms. Evans, I would like you to tell me you version of today's events if you will." Lily shut her eyes and sighed. "I know it will be hard to relive what you have just gone through, but talking about it is the first step in the healing process." Lily nodded and told the wizened Professor everything that had happened. By the time she was finished she was crying. Dumbledore conjured a hanky for her and Lily wiped her eyes.  
  
"You're a very lucky young woman, Ms. Evans. If James hadn't of come when he did, I wouldn't be sure that you would be with us right now. I'll leave you to get your sleep. We will talk more tomorrow." And with that he left Lily to sleep.  
  
Lily lay down and began thinking about all that she saw. Mostly about her mother not wanting her. Her father had killed her mother. The scene kept on playing in her head. Shaking herself out of her stupor she pushed those thoughts far away. She felt her eyes drooping.  
  
"Thank you, James." And Lily slept.  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay. I think that this chapter was okay. I hope you thought so too. Umm…Next chapter will be Whispers of a Past and unwelcome Visitors. Also, more things will be answered then. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Genesis~ 


	6. Whispers of a Past and Unwelcome Visitor...

A/N: Thanks to all those who reviewed chapter 5! I was so happy! All I've gotten have been good reviews. Thank you so much! I don't think that I can say it enough! I never thought that so many people would review mine. Especially some of my favorite authors! Lethal have reviewed like every time! Thank you so much! When I saw that you reviewed it I was all like…AHHH!!! I thank you all for your reviews! Okay…here is chapter 6. Your going to be so mad at me.*grins evilly*  
  
Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize doesn't belong to me. Simple as that.  
  
  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Whispers of a Past and Unwelcome Visitors  
  
  
  
  
  
Lily was let out of the hospital wing a weak later. She was extremely grateful to escape Madam Pomfrey's watchful gaze. She had insisted the entire week that she was well enough to return, but the matron would just start rambling on about how ungrateful their generation was and how nobody appreciated her. It was almost as bad as Moaning Myrtle.  
  
But what Lily expected when she got out was not what welcomed her. Everywhere she went whispers followed her. She heard Death Eater several times. Over her time in the infirmary, Lily had had few visitors. The only ones who came were the marauders and Lucius. The visits from the marauders had been pleasant and humorous, while Lucius' were terror filled. When ever he came near she couldn't help but start to shiver. He was a constant reminder of what she had seen. He had only shown up twice. The first time, only a few minutes before visiting hours were over, and had been thrown out by Madam Pomfrey. The second and last time he ended up with a broken nose. Lily had been reading over the Transfiguration notes James had copied for her when Lucius had come swaggering in.  
  
"Hello Flower." He had said. He had beant down next to her and whispered in her ear, "Daddy said to say hello, Isabella." Lily had started to cry, memories flashing through her head. 'Monster'. 'Daddy will bring you home Isabella'. At that moment James had entered the room, followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter. James eyes widened at the sight then narrowed when he saw Lily crying. He ran up to Lucius and jerked him away from Lily, and haven given him what would be called the 'Potter hook'. James gave him his best left hook and had sent Lucius sailing. James and he had both gotten detention for fighting and disturbing her patients.  
  
James hadn't cared though. He figured that it had been Lucius who had led her down to the dungeons to begin with but he had no proof. Plus, the thought of someone causing Lily pain, emotional or physical, made a wrenching pain in his gut.  
  
Currently, Lily was walking down to Arithmancy with Remus, when they heard some Slytherins conversing in an abandoned classroom on the fourth floor. They both stopped to listen.  
  
"He's her father." A voice stated quietly.  
  
"No!" a shocked whisper.  
  
"Her mother gave her up for adoption. By the time he got there the baby was gone so he killed her." Said the first voice.  
  
"And Livinston is her father?"  
  
"Yes! Did I not just tell you that?!" said the first voice harshly.  
  
"Well why isn't she in Slytherin?"  
  
"Don't know. It would have been good to have a Slytherin Head Girl."  
  
"What did Livinston want us to do?" Remus began to pull Lily away from the door., telling her that they were already late to Arithmancy. He did look at her curiously though. Lily knew that he was solving the puzzle.  
  
Remus knew that they had been talking about Lily. But Lily? A Death Eater's daughter? He didn't know what to think on that particular subject, so he put it in the back of his mind to tell the rest of the marauders later and get their opinions. Lily's thoughts couldn't have differed any more.  
  
'Livinston. My last name is Livinston'. Lily was amazed she knew her last name. Now she could find out about her real family! But then a thought occurred to her. 'They know. And soon everyone else will too'. She stopped in her tracks. She was beginning to feel light headed.  
  
"Lily?" Remus was in front of her, watching all the color drain out of her face until she was chalk white.  
  
"I don't feel so good all of a sudden." She wavered on her feet and clamped a hand over her mouth. Remus' eyes widened and he quickly conjured a trash can which Lily heaved into while Remus rubbed Lily's back. Lucky for her no one else was around. After she had lost all the food she had eaten within the last twenty-four hours, Remus helped Lily up to Gryffindor tower.  
  
He helped Lily into the girls' bathroom to brush her teeth than into her bed. She was eternally grateful that he didn't ask questions. Remus then left, promising to bring her back the work she would miss that day. Lily rolled over and closed her eyes, wishing she were someone else.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Remus sat through the rest of Arithmancy alone, then went into the Great Hall for lunch. He found he rest of his friends sitting at the far end of the Gryffindor table. James and Sirius looked up.  
  
"Where's Lily?" Sirius asked, casting a quick look at James from the corner of his eye.  
  
"She's in bed sick." Remus replied, piling chicken sandwiches on his plate.  
  
"But she was fine at breakfast" Sirius protested, he loved annoying Lily any chance he got.  
  
"What happened, Remus?" James asked, giving Remus a calculated look.  
  
"What makes you think that something happened James?" Remus asked, calmly, already finishing his second sandwich.  
  
"Because your squirming. You always do that when there's something your not telling us, but think that we should know. Or it's something important. Usually it's both." James explained reasonably. Remus wiped his hands with a napkin and stood up, a grave but closed look on his face.  
  
"There are some things that we need to discuss about Lily." He looked around quickly. James and Sirius looked at each other. What would make calm, collected Remus act like this?  
  
"But not here. Lets go outside. No more people than necessary should know this. I don't even know if Dumbledore knows." Now they all knew that something big was going on. They all thought very highly of Dumbledore, and usually, there was nothing that he did not know. So this was saying something.  
  
The other two stood up and they began making their way out of the Great Hall. But halfway down the Gryffindor table, a resounding boom could be heard and the doors to the Great Hall were blasted away. Standing in the doorway were masked men in black robes.  
  
Death Eaters had come to Hogwarts.  
  
  
  
A/N: That's chapter 6. I have pre-written chapter 7 yet. I'm just now thinking on whats going to happen. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. I would really appreciate it. Thank you for reading! I hope its satisfactory! Later! ~Genesis~ 


	7. ~Of Death and Loss~

A/N: Hey everyone. Sorry that it took me so long to post this. I've been suffering through test after test being thrown at me by my teachers. So, sorry. Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter and all the chapters put together! I couldn't be more inspired. Thanks! Bunches of hugs to all of you! ~Genesis~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize from the Harry Potter books. No names, nothing. Only the plot as it happens. All that belongs to J.K. Rowling.  
  
  
  
  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Of Death and Loss  
  
  
  
  
  
James sat next to Sirius in Professor Dumbledore's office. Never before had he not enjoyed being here. Every time it proved to be an experience. He had always enjoyed watching the previous headmasters snoozing in their frames, occasionally talking to one or two of them as he waited for Dumbledore to arrive to assign him a detention. He always loved walking around his office tinkering with all of the objects that were foreign to him. When Professor McGonagall would wait with him she would scold him for acting like a two-year old. Sirius would tell him that he had A.D.D.  
  
But sitting there now did not bring even the hint of a smile to his face. James looked over at Sirius and grimaced at his appearance, knowing that he didn't look much different. Though it didn't come as a shock to him. It was to be expected after what they had gone through in the past two hours. But his appearance was nothing compared to his heart.  
  
Lily was gone. Taken. Kidnapped. Lost to him. He had lost her and had never told her how he felt. He was depressed. No, more than that. He was numb. Completely empty. He felt like he had VOID stamped across his forehead. But at the same time he was confused. Why would they go out of their way to take her? That question reverberated in his head like a mindless chant.  
  
But at that moment Dumbledore entered the room, cutting off James' train of thought. The Headmaster looked completely exhausted. He looked the way James felt. He watched as he took a seat behind his desk.  
  
"You are aware Ms. Evans has been taken I assume?" the weary man asked. James nodded his assent. "I cannot stress how serious this matter is. Never in history has a student been kidnapped from Hogwarts. The idea in itself is preposterous. Never did I think that it would happen when I was headmaster." He was silent for a moment.  
  
"Did Voldemort send them?" James asked. He prayed the answer would be no. That the evil wizard wouldn't have gotten a hold of his beautiful angel. What would he do to her? He couldn't bear the thought of anyone torturing her. Of bringing tears of pain to her emerald eyes.  
  
"No, Mr. Potter. Voldemort has not taken her. But her father has." The room was filled with silence. James was shocked into silence. Then he felt angry.  
  
"You let me get this upset when all that happened was that she went home?!" he boomed at the elderly professor. Dumbledore sighed.  
  
  
  
"Please sit down James. You do know that Lily is adopted, yes?" James sat down, his face slowly losing the red that came with his temper.  
  
"Yes. What has that go to do with anything?"  
  
"Everything James. Lily has been kidnapped by her paternal father. Her real father." Dumbledore was silent as he let the news sink in. It was best if they knew.  
  
  
  
"Are you telling me that Lily's father is a Death Eater? If that's true than she would be in Slytherin! She's a Gryffindor! It's not true!" James once again felt the rage he had only felt once before pounding through his veins. That had been when his father had been killed in action. He had been so angry that he had punched a glass window, shattering it, and cutting his hand severely.  
  
  
  
"James, I am telling you nothing but the truth. Not all children grow up to be like their parents. Lily has never even been around her father. I don't even know if she even knows his name. I know this comes as a shock. She is a Gryffindor, come from a long line of Slytherins. But know this. Ms. Evans is nothing like, and never will be anything like her father. That much is clear. And should be clear to you. Understand?" Professor Dumbledore looked at him with a fire blazing in his eyes. They sparkled dangerously behind his crescent moon spectacles. James nodded and took a few deep breaths.  
  
"Professor, I know that Lily is nothing like a Death Eater and never will be. I knew that. But you need to see this. When we get Lily back, many people will know. You understand the kind of reputations the children of Death Eater's have. Hers will be no different. She'll grow depressed. She already has so little friends." Dumbledore looked at James. He nearly smiled at how concerned he was just about a few rumors that would talk badly about Lily.  
  
  
  
"But she has you. You James. And Peter, Remus, and Sirius. You all will be there to support her. When you are around her no one will dare say anything to her about her family."  
  
  
  
"Don't you think that we should get back to the matter at hand?" James jumped. He had nearly forgotten that Sirius was there. He was frowning. "Lily has been kidnapped and all you can think about is what will happen when she gets back. We have to get her back before you can worry about all the rest of that."  
  
James felt horrible. How stupid of him. Here he was, wasting precious time, by arguing with Professor Dumbledore. Sirius was right, and he was deeply ashamed. Maybe it was just that he didn't want to think about her being anywhere else other than here.  
  
"There is no need to worry Mr. Black. We already have a team of aurors on their way to the Livinston estate where we believe Ms. Evans to be held." James sighed.  
  
  
  
"And all I can do is wait and hope for the best." James whispered. 'Dear god. Please be okay Lily. I love you.'  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Lily sighed as she snuggled down into the comfort of her bed. She didn't want to open her eyes, didn't want to leave the blissful feeling of sleep. But try as she did, she could not get back to sleep. She sighed heavily and opened her eyes. Her mouth dropped.  
  
  
  
She was in the most lavish room she had ever seen. The walls were pure white. White carpeting. White curtains, through which she could see the outline of a balcony. The room was completely white. But it was beautiful. The furniture was of a light blue nearly white color that was so polished that you could see yourself in it as you would in a mirror. And the bed was huge. Obviously a king size, and she was sitting up in the very center of it. She looked down at herself, only to find that she was in a long silk- white nightgown. She rubbed her eyes. Obviously she was hallucinating. But when she opened them the room was still there.  
  
"Ouch!" she had pinched herself. My god, this cannot be real. She slipped out from underneath the covers and padded over to the door, on which hung a light blue silk robe. After slipping it on she opened the door and found herself in a massive hallway. Door lined the sides. She walked past those, looking for any signs of life.  
  
  
  
Finally she came to the first floor landing, and saw, off to her right, light coming from beneath a door. She walked over to it and put her ear against it. Nothing. She pushed it open, wondering what it contained. Who had brought her here? Why was she here? She saw someone sitting with their back towards her, facing the fire that gave the room a bright, cheery glow. She cleared her throat. The man stood up and turned around. Her eyes grew wide and he smiled.  
  
  
  
"Welcome home, Isabella." And Lily fainted.  
  
  
  
A/N. And that was chapter seven. I really liked that one. I know I didn't write about the attack. I might put it in as a flashback later. I'm not really good at writing stuff like that. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. Review if it pleases you. I'm in the middle of reading a great book: The Phantom of the Opera. You must read it! Way good! That's about it! Thanks again!  
  
~Genesis~ 


	8. Conversations, Worry, Names, and Threats

A/N: Okay. First of all, let me express my most sincere apologies to everyone who has been waiting for chapter eight. I know I haven't updated in over a month, and I have good reason. My mother (ugh!) Deleted all of my saved chapters, including the new one. It was long too! And, due to my computer being old and slow (ugh! Again), I had no way of retrieving the files. So, with much ado, here is chapter eight.  
  
  
  
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Kelly, who wouldn't stop pestering me until I put it up. If not for her, it probably wouldn't be up for an excessive period of time. Thanks Kelly! Even if you were annoying as all hell! (  
  
  
  
  
  
~Wasting Away~  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
Conversations, Worry, and Names  
  
  
  
  
  
Veovis Livinston sat in his study, swirling the dark amber liquid that resided in his glass in small circles. He smiled, but his eyes turned hard as his fireplace fire roared and went from a sea of orange to a calm emerald green.  
  
He narrowed his eyes as he saw who it was.  
  
  
  
"What are you doing here Luscius? Did I not tell you to stay at the castle?" Luscius looked upset and angry at the same time, not to mention confused. Veovis sighed.  
  
"Stupid boy. Dumbledore will surely be watching everything in his school to make sure none of precious little students are taken. People will become suspicious when they know that you weren't there for the attack. He and the teachers will be watching everyone!" he snarled. How could this boy be so stupid?  
  
"Forgive me, Mr. Livinston, but I thought that you may want to know that there is a group of aurors on their way here. But, I'm sorry, that's not what's important right now." Luscius said with spite.  
  
Veovis narrowed his dark green eyes the silver haired boy in front of him. Too cocky, but very influential. Also a key tool in getting Isabella from Hogwarts. It was a pity that he would have to marry his daughter off to someone so unworthy in his opinion, but the Dark Lord suggested the match.  
  
There was no doubt that they would have beautiful children. Isabella, with her auburn hair, pale complexion, and soft features. And Lucius, his aristocratic features, would look stunning on a child.  
  
The Malfoys were also in Voldemort's inner circle. The only other young men were big, hairy, and ugly. There was no way in hell that he would send Isabella to someone like that. They were all too stupid to know that he would kill them if Isabella was touched. Luscius Malfoy, on the other hand, wasn't.  
  
  
  
Veovis Livinston was a powerful man. To himself, he was a follower of Voldemort, to the rest of the world, he was a ruthless businessman who owned several well off shops in not only Diagon Alley, as well as Knockturn Alley. His name commended a certain amount of respect. He knew the ministry was suspicious of him, thinking him to dabble in the Dark Arts. Although it was true, he had enough influence with the other ranking ministry officials to smooth it all over.  
  
  
  
"Luscius, do you not think that I have planned this through? That I am a fool? Of course I know that the aurors are coming. They have suspected me of being a Death Eater for a while now."  
  
  
  
"I wasn't trying to insinuate anything Mr. Livinston. If they perform a search they will find her." Veovis smiled.  
  
"You're so naïve Luscius. I have already thoroughly planned this. I have a room in the house that is untraceable by magic. If you open it the only thing you will see is an old closet. Even if she screams," he grinned, " no one will be able to hear her." Luscius smiled.  
  
"Now, if I am correct in my assumptions, the aurors will be here within a few minutes. I will take you to Isabella's room. We can't have you found by the aurors can we? And if you go back to Hogwarts by Floo powder now, then there is no doubt that you would be detected and they will be able to trace where you came from. We will be able to plan more later after the aurors leave." As he said this he was leading Luscius down an elaborate corridor, rich in grandeur. The walls were lined with portraits of people who must be Veovis' ancestors. They all seemed to have the same eyes. Green. They paused at a door.  
  
  
  
Veovis opened up the ratty little door, and waved his hand. Instead of the little closet there was a beautifully designed room, the theme of which was white. They stepped into the room and saw the young woman who wore a dark midnight blue robe.  
  
  
  
"Good afternoon Isabella." Veovis said as he stepped towards his daughter. She slammed herself back against the other wall.  
  
  
  
"That is not my name! Get away!" Lily shouted, emerald eyes defiant. Veovis narrowed his eyes and stalked over to his daughter. He slapped her hard across the face.  
  
  
  
"You will learn your name Isabella. I will not tolerate that muggle name in my domain. I suggest that you learn your name quickly. We wouldn't want any more of this would we?" he gently rubbed her face. "If you are good and learn your name, I will be generous and heal your face. But if not, I'm not so" he was cut off as he heard a large ring throughout the house. I will be back in due time. Luscius, if she doesn't learn her name, then you know what to do." With that said he stalked out of the room leaving Lily alone with the only person she hated more her biological father. Lucius Malfoy.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
James Potter paced. Back and forth, back and forth. His head was bowed and he appeared to be thinking hard. In front of him were three other boys. Remus Lupin, a light brown haired boy who always seemed tired, sat in a red armchair holding his chin in his hand, looking pensive. Sirius Black sat on the armrest of a couch, looking blankly at the wall in front of him. His long black hair fell in front of his eyes, but he made no move to push it aside. Peter Pettigrew just sat on the couch, watching James pace.  
  
  
  
"Prongs stop it. You're going to burn a hole in the floor if you continue with the pacing." Sirius said, not looking away from the wall. James sighed and stopped pacing and threw himself into another armchair across from Sirius and next to Remus.  
  
  
  
It was currently five minutes after midnight and the four marauders had yet to hear word of Lily from Dumbledore. They all knew that they wouldn't be able to sleep unless they heard the word that she was okay. James and Sirius had left Professor Dumbledore's office at four that afternoon and hadn't been able to relax. All they could do was wait. And that wasn't appealing in the least. Never before had James felt this kind of emotional torment.  
  
  
  
Just as James was about to give up all hope Professor Dumbledore entered the common room. All the boys jumped up. We've found her."  
  
  
  
A/N: Ohhh!!! I bet you all hate me now! Uh-oh! hides behind her computer chair. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Remember to thank Kelly for making me post this! Thanks you all! Remember to review if it pleases you! Love you all so, so much! Genesis Shade 


	9. Memories, Remembrance, Rescue, and Roman...

A/N: Okay.I finally decided to post this. I agree with you all that I take too long to post. I am reminded nearly everyday. Nevertheless, alas, without further ado.I give you chapter nine of Wasting Away!  
  
A big thanks to Kelly who read this before everyone else and telling me everyday to post it. So, thank her.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to three people: Kelly: For obvious reasons Carey: For being my 100th reviewer Goldengigi: For taking the time to email me to tell me to get my butt moving! Thanks!  
  
~Wasting Away~ Chapter Nine Memories, Remembrance, Rescue, and Romance  
  
  
  
Lily did not know what to think as her "Father" walked out of the room. He really was nothing more than a monster, as her dying mother had said.  
  
He had hit her! His own daughter! Flesh of his flesh. Moreover, her she was, trapped with the one person she hated above the man who had given her life. Lucius Malfoy.  
  
Lucius had a depraved smile on his face that made her feel sick to her stomach. The pale-haired young man stepped towards her, and Lily quickly stepped back. Back until she was trapped against the wall.  
  
'Stupid!' she cursed herself.  
  
He smiled at her, grabbed a piece of her red hair, and idly twirled it between his fingers. His other arm was blocking her from being able to move away, his hand next to her throat.  
  
Lily knew that he would have no qualms against shutting her air supply off for awhile if she dared to jerk away.  
  
"I would have had you that day you know." Lucius said, gazing down at her lips, a strange light in his eyes. "But it was lucky for that the letter of your parentage came before I could."  
  
Lily could not believe him. "Bastard" she spat.  
  
"That you know I am not. Before, I thought you desirable. A mere mudblood, yes, but with enough looks to turn any man's eye. Then, I learned that you were not born into the world as muggle trash. Moreover, I wanted to know what family would have willingly given a daughter such as you away freely.  
  
"So I waited. I knew that if you were of high class than I could use that connection. And I knew that if they wanted you back, then they would preferably have you back untainted.  
  
"I sent inquiries, and time passed. My resolve not to touch you was rapidly fading. I told myself that if you belonged to any lesser wizarding family that I would have had you regardless.  
  
"But, all restraint was banished when one day I saw you walking alone in the dungeons, crying. I was unable to resist. I still had not found out you true heritage, but nothing else mattered right then. I grabbed you and cast a silencing spell so that none could hear your screams. I dragged you up to my dorm during dinner. Your eyes were filled with fear, and I reveled in it.  
  
"I remember touching you, marveling at how soft and smooth your skin was as I wiped away your tears. Just as I was about to kiss you, my eagle owl flew through the window with my latest inquiry. I put you in the full body bind and read what it said.  
  
"I was shocked to find out that you were none other than Veovis Livinston's daughter. A very powerful and influential man. And, unknown to most, a follower of the Dark. One of You-Know-Who's top Death Eaters. I knew then that I could not have you.  
  
"I watched as you fled from the dungeons in tears. I knew you would not tell. You had no friends. And I promised you that I would see you soon." He grinned down at Lily, a sickening grin. She did not need him to recount that day. She knew very well what had happened in the dungeons.  
  
"And rest assured, I will have you one day Isabella. Our fathers are already making the agreements. You will be mine."  
  
"Never, will I ever be yours, you bastard! Never will I willingly do so!" Lucius looked at her with an evil grin on his face. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.  
  
"You will be mine. Unwilling, if so. I will take great pleasure in taming you." Lily saw red.  
  
"Ahhh!!!" Lily yelled as she lunged at him. She punched him in the nose and blood gushed out. She did not hear the crunch of the bone being smashed. She did not feel the pain in her hand that told her that she, also, had broken something. All that mattered was injuring the bastard. All she saw was red as she put all she had into maiming him, hitting him anywhere and everywhere she could.  
  
Lucius grabbed her injured hand, crushed it in his own and punched her in the eye. She saw stars, but that wasn't going to stop her. She kicked him, and he pushed her to the floor and kicked her in the ribs and stomach so many times she couldn't count.  
  
Lily lay on the floor, not moving. The pain came and poured over her in waves. Lucius was a few feet away from her, holding his broken nose, trying to staunch the flow of blood. He thought her unconscious.  
  
Lily rose to her feet, silently, grabbed a crystal vase, and smashed it over Lucius' head. He fell to the floor, completely limp. Lily clutched the bed rail to stop her legs from giving out under her. She made her way to Lucius and grabbed his wand. She went to the door and undid the locking charm, and threw the cursed piece of wood to the floor.  
  
Lily opened the door, and heard people moving about. She took a step from the room, and didn't see Lucius stand up behind her and grab his wand. She didn't see as a memory charm hit her, erasing who had beaten her and who had been in the room with her. The force of the spell made her fall forward into the hallway, and her head struck the ground. She saw no more.  
  
Silently Lucius cast an invisibility spell over himself and quickly moved to another part of the house that had already been searched.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Alastor Moody grumbled to himself as he ransacked the supposed kidnapper's guest rooms.  
  
"Can't be bothered.no veritaserum.what nonsense.anyone could see he's guilty." He mumbled. He heard the creaking of a door and he looked up. He grinned.  
  
"Somebody trying to sneak around eh? They'll get what's comin' to 'em." He pulled out his wand and padded silently to the door. He opened the door a bit and peeked trough. A girl! Covered in blood no less. He stepped out and saw a red beam of light hit her in the back of her head and watched as she fell and struck her head on the stone floor.  
  
Alastor rushed to her and looked into the room she came out of and saw no one. He turned her over and saw that she was the young lass they were looking for. She had bruises of her face, looking worse for wear. He raised his wand and a small ghostly wisp came out of the end and shot down the corridor. Less than a minute later, his superior arrived.  
  
"How is she? Where did you find her?" asked George Pavil. Alastor quickly explained to his boss what had happened. Pavil nodded. Alastor conjured a stretcher and levitated her onto it.  
  
"Take her back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore will see to it that she gets the proper care. It is time Livinston and I had a little..chat." and with that he was gone. Alastor sighed and apparated himself and the girl to the gates of Hogwarts.  
  
It was chilly outside. The inky black sky was littered with diamond-like stars. It wasn't too many years ago that he had sat and been able to enjoy them. But that was before the war had started. He sighed and walked quickly up the steps towards the school.  
  
Alastor knocked several times and waited. It was Dumbledore himself who opened the grand doors and let him inside. He took his charge with a thank you and they walked towards the Hospital Wing and he explained what had happened and told him that Livinston was probably in the middle of being questioned.  
  
They reached the Hospital Wing where a young Madam Pomfrey squawked when she saw the state her patient was in.  
  
"What happened?!" she screeched as she began to check Lily over, shaking her head as she uncovered every bruise and cut.  
  
"She was kidnapped, Poppy. We're not exactly sure what happened to her." Dumbledore sighed. "When I looked out of the room I was searching, I saw a jet of red light hit her in the back of her head. The force made her fall forward. That's where she acquired that knot on her forehead."  
  
"Did you hear what it was?" Madam Pomfrey asked. Alastor shook his shaggy brown mane of hair.  
  
"No. And when I looked in the room no one was there." He sighed. "I'm sorry Dumbledore. I have to get back to the office. No doubt they'll want to question me." He nodded to Dumbledore and the matron and walked out of the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Poppy, can you tell me what type of curse she was hit with?" Dumbledore's eyes looked at his Head Girl with great concern.  
  
"No. It has no visible affects. We won't be able to tell until she wakes up and are able to question her." Poppy said as she tightly bound Lily's ribs in white gauze. "That's about all I'm going to be able to do for her. If I heal anything else at the moment then I'll end up being the patient." Dumbledore understood completely. If a healer used too much energy at a time then they could drain themselves of strength, and at times, some of their magical ability.  
  
"I should go and inform Lily's friends that she has been found. No doubt they're very worried. Take care, Poppy." And Dumbledore left the Hospital Wing and towards Gryffindor tower. He told the Fat Lady the password, and stepped into the common room to see the four Gryffindor's known as the marauders. The four boys looked up at him.  
  
"We've found her."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
James didn't know that those three words could give him so much relief. He visibly relaxed. He could see the others relieved faces. Even though Lily was not a stable part of the group, they had been trying to welcome her, and he could tell that they also cared for Lily as he did.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
"Where is she now?"  
  
There was a twinkle in the older wizards eye as he surveyed them through his crescent moon spectacles. He smiled at the reassuringly.  
  
"Miss Evans will be fine." The sigh of relief James made turned their heads. They all smiled knowing smiles. Dumbledore put his hand up as James started towards the portrait hole, no doubt wanting to get to the hospital wing.  
  
"Ms. Evans is in a very delicate condition right now. She hasn't woken up yet, and I am afraid that I must ask you not to go to the Hospital Wing tonight. Madam Pomfrey was beside herself with just Alastor and myself. I do not think that she would appreciate anyone else at this point in time."  
  
"I thought you said she was fine!" James protested vehemently. Sirius looked shocked. James had never spoken thus to the headmaster.  
  
"I assure you that Miss Evans will be fine, Mr. Potter. I know that you would like to see her, but, trust me. It is for the best." Dumbledore said calmly, but with a hint of hardness in his voice that was barely there.  
  
"Well.if she is fine, then there should be no reason that her friends could not be there when she woke up. Or would you rather have her wake up alone, and not knowing what was going on?" James demanded.  
  
Sirius walked up behind James and put a restraining hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Let it go, buddy." He said softly. "First thing in the morning you'll be there. We'll all be there." The hardness in James' eyes didn't soften. He stared at Dumbledore for a few moments longer, then turned away and stormed up to the dormitory. A door slamming was heard.  
  
"Sorry, Professor Dumbledore. He's tired. He hasn't slept." Remus apologized. Dumbledore waved the apology away.  
  
"I know how the young can be blind in matters of the heart. Good night, boys." And he was gone.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Remus, Sirius, and Peter climbed into bed exhausted. Barely any of them had gotten any sleep within the past forty-eight hours. But as they pulled their drapes shut they knew that James was the worst off by far. No sounds of sleeping could be heard from behind his curtains.  
  
Just as they were drifting off into the world of dreams, soft footsteps could be heard. Remus peeked out of his curtains and smiled to himself. James was walking towards the door, invisibility cloak in hand.  
  
Dumbledore was right. James Potter had lost his heart to Lily Evans. Whether he knew it or not.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
James Potter stole silently through the corridors of Hogwarts, and into the room that he seeked. He stopped at the foot of a bed, and gazed down at its occupant.  
  
Rage welled up in him as he saw the bruises on her face, stark against the whiteness of his angels skin. He glided to the side of her bed and touched her cheek softly, admiring its smoothness. He leaned down and kissed her bruises.  
  
"You are so beautiful." He whispered to her, knowing that he wasn't going to get a response. He pulled off his invisibility cloak and put it in his cloak pocket, and lay his head down next to her milky white arm.  
  
"I love you, Lily Evans.." He whispered as sleep claimed him.  
  
Albus Dumbledore looked at the two figures in the room from his dark corner. He smiled and stole away in the night towards his chambers.  
  
"Ahh. Young love."  
  
A/N: Okay! There's chapter nine! I put a little James romance in there at the end! Forgive me for taking so long! I deserve to be struck! Thanks to all of those who reviewed! I appreciate it more than you could ever begin to imagine! Thanks all! Review if it pleases you! Genesis Shade 


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